One of the most frequent excuses for avoiding a new hairstyle is that the man in the lady’s life won’t like it. Not ‘might not like it or ‘isn’t sure’ but positively, definitely ‘won’t like it. Actually, if you probe a bit deeper, you’ll often find that the lady doth protest too much and hasn’t consulted her husband or boyfriend at all! She is just assuming that he wouldn’t like her to look different.
Now I have no wish to come between a client and her loved one, but I do often ask myself whether it’s more important for the woman to do what she wants to do with her hair or for her to avoid doing what she wants to do, because of possible male opposition, and then bear a secret grudge against the man for keeping her in a straitjacket!
I think women should experiment with different hairstyles if it makes them happy because when a woman is happy, the male partner is happy. If a woman is genuinely afraid that she’s going to cause a row by changing her hairstyle dramatically, for example from long to short or from straight to curly, then she should reconsider and make the changes slowly.
By changing gradually and working from one style to the next over a period of time, the transition won’t be so obvious – at least not until the photograph album comes out the following year! Some people confuse change with regression when it comes to hair. Over and over again women who have just had a baby come in and ask for the style they had when they first got married, or when they first met their husbands.
They’re frightened they have aged with motherhood, or that they will turn into cabbages. ‘Make me look like I used to look!’ they plead. Invariably I try to dissuade them. This isn’t cussedness on my part, though I know hairdressers are frequently berated for not doing what the client wants. I am thinking of the client. If she brings in her wedding photograph she’ll see what I mean.
Normally, that photograph will show a hairstyle that is either dated, unreal (in that it was a special occasion hairdo), or, by today’s fashion standards, boring. I always try to persuade the client to look ahead, not backward, and go for a new style and a new feeling, that will make her appear to be as young as she felt before but which will fit in with today’s ‘look’ and her new, time-consuming life as a mother, wife, and friend.
We sometimes have similar problems with women whose marriages are going through a bad patch. They think that by re-creating the person their husband first fell in love with they will also re-create the romance. Wrong.
This sort of charade may pay off in movies but it doesn’t work in everyday life. It is better by far for the wife to adopt a completely new hairstyle, smile as best she can, and face up to the future bravely and without nostalgia. What’s past is past.
There may still be a future though, nine times out of ten there is, so why not look forward, forget yesterday’s clothes and hairstyles and make a new beginning.